My Dearest Mr. Darcy Read online

  “Really? Perhaps my initial impression when I awoke was not far from the truth.” She spoke teasingly with a caress to his hand.

  He arched a brow in question. “What was your initial impression?”

  Lizzy reddened slightly. “Well, I confess I was disappointed to find you absent. You have spoiled me, beloved, even further after today. I anticipated at the very least arising to have you staring at me and caressing with obvious intent. I hoped for that, I should say. Anything else would have been a bonus.” She fluttered her lashes and he burst out laughing. “Therefore, when you were not in our bed I was crushed. I thought you had forgotten,” she finished in a small voice.

  “Elizabeth,” he whispered roughly, grasping her hand, “how could you think I would forget one of the happiest days of my life? The pearls were an afterthought, but I have been laying plans and composing riddles for a week. You know how pathetically maudlin I am, thus you should never be surprised overly nor despondent. And as for caressing with obvious intent—that shall occur in a timely manner, I can assure you, several times if I have my wish.” He grinned, bringing her hand to his mouth for well-placed kisses and nibbles.

  Feeling rejuvenated after a full meal, Lizzy was ready for whatever her husband had planned for the day. Darcy rose from the table, assisting his wife from her seat. Lizzy's belly was not yet to the point where rising or sitting was laborious; in fact, her grace was unfailing; however, Darcy was prudent. A maid was sent to retrieve a bonnet and gloves for Mrs. Darcy, which Darcy placed on his wife himself, kissing and tenderly caressing throughout the procedure that should have only consumed a minute but instead lasted close to ten.

  Lizzy smiled into his eyes, his fingers yet nestled under her chin, ostensibly straightening the bonnet's bow. “Where are we headed?”

  He smiled enigmatically, offering his arm, tucking her securely against his side, and steered toward the steps leading to the grass. They walked at a leisurely pace across the manicured lawn, talking softly of the past.

  “Often I have considered the various brilliant phrases and declarations I wished to say to you while visiting here, especially upon our initial encounter when you so surprised me,” Darcy said as they reached the serpentine hedge and began weaving their way through the maze.

  “What did you decide you should have said?”

  Darcy laughed lowly, shaking his head. “I never did decide on a sure phrase. Oh, I came up with all sorts of clever witticisms or irresistible banter in my musings, none of which I would have remotely conjured at the time even had I not been nonplussed. Obviously if enchanting conversation were a forte of mine, I may not have been in such a predicament in the first place!” He squeezed her arm, Lizzy chuckling.

  They passed through the vine-draped archway in the center of the maze. The central clearing was an exact circle of clover precisely thirty feet in diameter with an enormous elm tree in the center, trunk girded by a low brick bench. The entire maze spanned nearly two hundred feet with four entrances, north, south, east, and west. The paths weaved and twined with a combination of curves and angles, ultimately intersecting and leading to four equally spaced exits in the middle. All throughout the labyrinth were niches cut into the six-foot-tall hedges with statues or ornamentally sculpted bushes. Lizzy loved the maze. It had not taken her long to figure her way through all the pathways, probably aided by her superior sense of direction, and it was one of her favorite haunts.

  She and Darcy strolled about the perimeter in contented companionship, smiling in remembrance.

  Darcy continued, “In my imaginings I charmed utterly, but certainly not in reality. No, I stood there and moronically watched you walk away. For at least ten minutes I could not think coherently. If it were not for the lingering scent of your perfume, I may have convinced myself I had finally succumbed to my fantasies.”

  Lizzy stopped and was staring at him with skepticism. “You did not seriously smell my perfume?”

  Darcy's brow rose. “Yes, I did. Lavender. It was in the air long after you departed.” He leaned over, burying his face into her hair and inhaling deeply. “As I thought. Lavender. You splashed with jasmine,” he nuzzled her neck, “but your hair wash is lavender, as it was at the Netherfield Ball.” He paused to bestow a smattering of gentle sucks over her collarbone, Lizzy instantly shivering but also shaking her head.

  “I cannot believe the details you recollect. Even after all this time you can yet dumbfound me, William. How did you note I used lavender?”

  Darcy flushed slightly, taking her hand and sitting on the bench under the tree. “I noted everything about you, Elizabeth, both consciously and unconsciously. I caught whiffs while you dwelt at Netherfield, but the fragrance invaded my mind while we danced. Unfortunately I only had that one opportunity to get close enough to you, but I noticed your scent. It was intoxicating, but then everything about you intoxicated me, even your arguing, as it showed your spirit. At Kent I deduced it must be your favorite perfume as you always wore it.” He caressed her fingers, staring at her hands entwined in his. “When I returned to Pemberley… after… I had the potted lavender outside my study window removed. I ordered Mrs. Reynolds to banish all lavender from the house. She must have thought me mad, although that oddity was the least of my peculiarities last summer.”

  He smiled wryly, glancing into her eyes. “You know the strangest part? Three weeks before you visited I was in my study, staring out the open doors as I do when cogitating. I was not thinking of you at that moment. I did, frequently, but was gradually finding the pain not as severe but more… bittersweet. The memory of your face and voice had become a part of me. The sadness of loss was as intense as ever, but had been tempered by the joy of having known you, even if superficially. Anyway, I was dwelling on a business issue, the very one that would take me to London, when I glanced to the patio stones and marked the stain from the pots of lavender I had ordered removed. Instantly I thought of you, your face as clear to me as it is now. As an epiphany it abruptly struck me that I no longer wished to erase you from my memory. I held no hope at that point but knew with certainty that I would never love another as I did you and I did not want to forget that feeling. So, I rang for Mr. Taylor and asked him to discover where the pots were and to have them returned. I felt… happier, somehow, once they were back, and the scent was comforting.”

  “Perhaps it was a sign,” Lizzy spoke softly.

  “That you would return to me as well? Perhaps. Although I still was flummoxed to see you.” He laughed. “I do not believe I have ever been so confounded in all my life! As I said, I stood rooted to the spot, smelling lavender, and utterly at a loss as to the logical course of action.” He continued to chuckle with the recollection.

  “What did you finally do? I mean, I know you invited us to dine the next day, to my increased embarrassment and astonishment, but how did you reach that decision? It seems so unlike you.”

  He sighed. “Well, that is the crux of it, love. I had to do something radical. I was surprised and confused, but knew for cert that I was being offered a second chance. You were obviously nervous to encounter me as we did, but as I mused over your words and demeanor, you did not impress me as harboring hostility or distaste toward me. I refused to assume too much and your discomfort gave me pause, but I could not believe it an accident that you were here. Of all the manors in all of England, you were here! The probability of this occurring by random chance is astronomical. I decided it had to be by Design, an opportunity for me to mend the damage I had inflicted.”

  He turned to his wife with a beatific smile. “Of course, all those thoughts flashed through my mind in a chaotic whirl. The foremost sensation was quite simply a gut-wrenching surge of desire and need. It all was back in a gush of emotion. My love for you as desperate and intense as ever. How I stood upright yet amazes me as I could barely breathe, so agonizing my yearning to kiss you and hold you and tell you how passionately I loved you.”

  “Fitzwilliam,” she breathed, reaching to
cup his face. “How star-crossed we were! I had recently been gazing at your image with such aching hunger, if only you had known. You could have swept me into your arms right then and I would have melted, never to depart this place until I was yours completely.”

  Moving simultaneously, their mouths met. The spoken remembrances of craving igniting a tangible firestorm of passion as they devoured breath and essence. Lizzy climbed onto his lap, Darcy embracing tightly. Hands were everywhere, voraciously touching. For long minutes it continued, fingers mindlessly beginning to release buttons and untie a cravat.

  “Lizzy! God, I must love you, but not here. Wait, beloved! Please, come with me.” He rose, lifting her from his lap and setting her unsteadily onto her feet. He palmed her cheeks, kissing lightly. “Come,” he repeated, taking her hand and leading infallibly along the twisting path.

  They exited the maze to the south, wending past the lily pond located before this opening, under the stone archway, and then across the extensive lawn rolling up the gentle slope beside the Falls to the Greek Temple. It was a significant distance, easily negotiated, but necessitating reining in the rushed pace. Lizzy was panting imperceptibly, at times the added weight to her slender frame affecting her. Darcy kept a firm grip on her hand, always a step ahead, but cognizant of his wife's struggles so he quelled his verve. By the time he parted the hanging branches screening the trail to the grotto, the worst of their flaming fervor had ebbed, although it was not entirely abated to be sure.

  Lizzy released a booming laugh. Somehow in the midst of all his organizing he had managed to additionally assemble a romantic tableau of blankets and cushions over the soft grassy plain in the grotto. A basket sat on a flat rock, waiting.

  “When in the world did you find the time to do this?”

  “I told you I arose quite early this morning,” he whispered near her ear from his stance behind her, hands resting lightly on her waist. “I have taken to keeping the blankets and cushions in the Temple since we inevitably find our way here now and again.” He nibbled her lobe, initiating his travels over the long expanse of her glorious neck.

  Lizzy sighed, leaning onto his hard chest and clasping his hands. Five times since returning from London in July they had managed to finagle time to visit Darcy's hidden sanctuary; twice planned but the other three spontaneous trysts as their feet veered toward the dell while walking. They were both coming to discover the delight of fresh air and balmy breezes over naked flesh irresistible and slightly addictive. The effect on their libido was remarkable, not that their mania for each other needed a stimulant.

  “Do you require refreshment or rest, my love?” he asked, tone clearly indicating his fervid hope that the answer was negative.

  Lizzy smiled tenderly, stroking his long fingers. “Nothing, my darling, but you. Always, only you.”

  Unhesitatingly, he resumed the unfastening of buttons, albeit leisurely now that they were alone with passion cooler. His left hand released the tie and clasps located on her left side, the other fingers laced with hers over their child.

  “So tell me, my husband, how did the dress removal fantasy unfold?”

  Darcy smiled against the nape of her neck. “Hmmm… A myriad of ways, in truth, my lover. In this position I imagined your body pressed into me with your dainty hands stroking over my thighs… yes, rather like that, Elizabeth. Then I would lavish your creamy neck with adoring kisses and nibbles. One reason I so admire this dress is the miniscule number of clasps securing it to your perfect body. See, just that easy and it is undone! It peels off so delicately, your skin revealed to my touch. Ah! A delight I had not anticipated… the cool air raising tiny bumps over your succulent flesh and your nipples hardening like little pebbles. Wonderful!”

  “That effect transpires from your touch, beloved,” she whispered hoarsely. “What next?”

  He cleared his throat, resuming, “Then you stand in your shift. Of course, I had never seen a woman's undergarment except on Georgie once or twice when ill, so my memory was vague, but I rightfully imagined something lacy and mildly transparent. So incredibly feminine and soft, caressing your skin and silky under my palms. I can feel the warmth of you through the linen, the trembling as I arouse you and revere your body. Oh my love, how utterly beautiful you are! Summertime clothing is light and airy, so fewer layers, and no stays to encumber my access now that you are pregnant. So freely liberated is a shift, falling to your lovely feet handily. Now, here you are my precious wife, flushed and naked in my arms. Aflame with desire for me, because of me. My Lizzy, I love you so! I must make love to you!”

  She pivoted in his embrace, leisure forgotten with resurgent yearning. The loosened, dangling cravat was pulled away, Darcy already removing his jacket. He encircled her again, grasping her bottom and pressing into his pelvis as she attacked the buttons of his waistcoat. Thus locked and entwined, they dropped to the blankets. Words were lost as mouths became occupied in sensuous pursuits. His shirt pulled off and tossed by Lizzy, who expeditiously moved in to kiss his chest while he struggled to discard boots and trousers.

  Stretching onto the plush covering they paused, eyes riveted with seething desire and profound love. Darcy smoothed the loose hair from Lizzy's brow, bending to kiss her forehead then temple.

  “Elizabeth, my wife. I love you.”

  His virile frame swathed her totally as he claimed her mouth in a thorough kiss. Beautiful rhythm as ecstasy rose higher with hearts fluttering. The warmth of September was diminished substantially under the thick branches and with breezes filtering through the brush over chill water; nonetheless, their bodies bathed in sweat from the exertion of intense ardor. Despite the fervid urgency of their mutual passion, neither rushed to attain fulfillment. Rather they danced with patterns of languid movements of extreme tenderness conjoined with periods of furious momentum. It was a prolonged, varied engagement of indescribable lovemaking culminating in due course with stunning rapture, their cries of sublime joy uninhibited and explosive.

  They lay entwined on the pillows, as close as two bodies could manage, skin touching on every plane. Darcy lay on his side, cuddling Elizabeth into his chest with both silky legs trapped between his muscular ones, playing with her hair while watching their baby's lazy pushes. The sturdy kicks could now be visibly discerned as Lizzy's abdominal skin rose and rippled bizarrely. These humorous waves were a new development, first noted by a doting father two mornings ago while studying a slumbering wife. His infatuation and ebullience was infectious, Lizzy not sure what thrilled her greatest: the visual evidence of their child's vitality or her husband's giddiness.

  Darcy pressed one finger onto a tiny bulge, grinning ridiculously. His animated face rested inches from Lizzy's, breath tickling her cheek when he spoke. “Do you think it a foot or elbow perhaps? Simply amazing! He must feel compressed, yearning for more space. Or merely exercising his muscles. Like either you or me, needing action and movement.”

  Lizzy lay her hand atop his, giggling at the wonder on his face. Darcy ignored her, mesmerized by the antics of their baby and the marvelous changes to his wife's body. Her breasts had not increased further for the past couple months, but were heavier, the nipples darkening slightly. Her belly had grown considerably, no gown able to hide the swell. The skin remained soft, supple, and void of marks, thanks to his uncle's ointment and Darcy's diligent massaging, but her navel was flattening and a faint shadowy line was visible from the umbilicus to groin. Her waist was thicker although the primary expansion was frontal, Lizzy still not noticeably gravid when viewed from behind. Her hips seemed a wee bit wider, and she occasionally complained of mild joint pain, a result, the book assured them, of muscles and ligaments preparing for childbirth.

  Overall her health was as vigorous as always. The rare and thankfully minor contractions of the womb, faint twinges in her hips and lower back, occasional breathlessness if she overexerted, and infrequent heartburn were the only annoying complications thus far endured. What weight she had gained apparently all r
esided in her midsection and chest as the remainder of her frame was as slim, or bony as Lizzy teasingly called it to Darcy's irritation, as ever.

  It was this very frame—sumptuous and toned and lissome to Darcy's eyes—that he now caressed with avid intensity and devotion. He quite simply never tired of touching and gazing upon his wife. Lizzy's idolization toward her husband's physique was as fanatical; therefore, she admiringly brushed over his chest and abdomen with the back of one hand while the other was lovingly clasped in Darcy's embracing one.

  She turned her head and kissed him fleetingly, smiling into his blue eyes. “You did not finish your tale, my heart. You left off standing in a state of paralysis.”

  Darcy chuckled vibrantly. “How apropos of you to call it paralysis, love. It truly was. I think my brain even shut down as I do not recall what, if anything, I said to you. I do not honestly know how long I stood there after you had gone, but the stasis abruptly fell from me and I spun about and lurched up the stairs. I am certain I appeared the utter fool, all grace and dignity of station vanished. My only thought was that I could not let you go. Georgiana, bless her heart, was stunned at my appearance, likely thinking me again mad. After my actions earlier that summer I believe she thought I had mentally snapped!”

  Lizzy was laughing at the vision as Darcy continued with humor imbuing his voice, “I was rambling and largely incoherent when I joined her in the music room. Somewhere in the midst she heard your name spoken. Of course, she knew the whole story of our relationship thus far, of my feelings toward you, but was highly confused by my behavior and unexpected arrival home. It took awhile before she deciphered my disjointed raving as meaning you were presently on Pemberley grounds. I finally bumbled some sort of explanation, enough that she gathered you were visiting with your aunt and uncle in Lambton, and that I intended to delay your departure and restate my feelings. You understand, Elizabeth, I had no plan, was largely inarticulate and mildly deranged. I dashed out of the music room, nearly bowled over Mrs. Reynolds in the hall, barked an order to resaddle my horse, and vaulted up the stairs with the vague intent to freshen up, as if washing my face and adding cologne would somehow cause you to fall into my arms!”